i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We need to rekindle our bromance
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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