she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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