Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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