Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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