I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
