all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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