I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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