I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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