can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
