So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
