unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
