Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I would ride that face into the sunset
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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