i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
