My room smells like vodka and shame
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
