the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
