physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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