It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
