I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
