hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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