lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
