People in love make me want to vomit
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
