You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
