Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Me. At least after what I've been through.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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