what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
