He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Randomize
