we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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