She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
