You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
