dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can't put those talents on a resume
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
