I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
