I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Four minutes until I can fart!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
