you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
