Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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