you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
