She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
