So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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