sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
