This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
