What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
