people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
