Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
