Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
