Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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