i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
