my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
