One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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