i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
