Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
