How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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