Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
