take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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