Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
